The Man In The Mirror
Hot date for tonight? So what’s the plan? Well, let’s see, it’s a lazy Saturday afternoon, so a pretty good call would be watching college football in the morning, maybe some re-runs of Seinfeld in the afternoon and then, if you’re really on top of things, hitting the gym for a quick workout before the big night. Then, it’s the ole’ standby “S.S.S.” theory of date preparation (for the uninitiated, this would be the “s*#!, shower and shave” theory) and you’re golden! Is there anything wrong with this routine? No, not really, but there are a couple of things you’ll need to add to it to put yourself in the best position for dating success.
Now let’s think for a moment about what she’s doing on that same lazy Saturday afternoon, getting ready to meet you for dinner at that cute little French bistro with the outdoor seating, the heat lamps, and the great soupe à l’oignon… you know the one. Maybe she hits the elliptical in the morning, perhaps a Hatha Yoga class down at the local studio, but at some point, her attention is going to turn to what’s going on that night. And what’s going on that night is definitely you and the big date.
She’s done this before and has a routine by now, one that’s worked for her. She might decide she needs a “mani + pedi” after noticing that her BFF’s nails looked particularly shiny the other night when the two of them were out on the town, grabbing some sushi. Or she might have noticed a new hairstyle in Vogue the other day, one that just might work well with her straight bangs and now’s the perfect time to try it out. She might have a closet full of designer heels, stashed away meticulously in their original boxes, each with a descriptive label to help her better navigate through her considerable collection. What’s the perfect pair for tonight?
The nails, the hair, the shoes, she’s grown up with these things and has been paying attention to them since she was young. She’s developed her own sense of style, but she’s had a lot of help along the way: she notices other women’s heels in the financial district when she’s at work; she’s bombarded with TV, radio and internet advertising about the Brazilian Blowout; she reads a couple of fashion magazines when she has the time, but never Cosmo because it’s pretty much trash; her favorite TV show used to be Sex and the City, but the DVD box set now finds a home in the DVD caddy, along with some other things she no longer watches, but did at one time.
All of these things reinforce one thing in her mind: the nails, the hair, shoes, all of these things are extremely important, she looks at them, she notices them, she thinks about them… a lot. So, we all know what happens when you lean over with dirt under your overly long fingernails while butchering the name of your poulet rôti during dinner, she’ll just take her perfectly manicured fingers and all the things she’s ever learned about nails and gently switch them to the “off” position. ‘Cause you’re a guy and she’s gonna give you a free pass… right?
The Mirror Theory of Attraction notes what some guys have known for a while. That there is no “off” switch. That she can’t help but to pay attention on you to the same things that she pays attention to on herself. And that she won’t give you a free pass. So pay attention to those little details, you might even catch her casually giving your shoes the “once over” when she sits down to dinner.
Does cutting your nails before the big night or getting your shoes shined by the guy at the place near work guarantee success? Of course they don’t. But start seeing yourself as The Man in the Mirror and you might just increase your odds of success.